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#1
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We always accept for our husband to be like this and that, but do we ever think of what we should be like and what a wife is. Well to tell the truth in the past 7 years of our marriage i have not been a good wife, and not showed the love to husband, although i love him a lot but never showed it back to him. I do respect him too but again never showed it, maybe i thought i did not need to, but I have realized that if i feel something i need to show it, and because its marriage it doesn't mean i stop showing the love i have for him. I feel very guilty and at times feel like crying knowing i have been a bad person to my hubby, being from a family which really where my mum was a bit dominating and a home where we all talked aloud, it was normal to be like that with my husband. But i was wrong, the place im from or the way we all used to speak at my parents home caused a lot of problems in my married life. My husband used to tell me not to do that, but i thought that ok with time i will learn, but sometimes its not time and you need to force yourself to be good and then you get used to it, especially if you have been like that since birth. Its not bad changing or forcing yourself to change as long its for the best of things. It important for a wife to make her husband feel wanted and loved no matter what. I have gone through some help problems, a bit of depression, instead of discussing this i stayed to myself, and this ruined the marriage too. It made me suffer as well as him, well more for him. Although it 7 years down the line in marriage, late but i have learnt what do be like and what responsibilities i have. It maybe hard for my husband to believe me what i say or feel for him, but it will take time, where he will know how much love, care and respect i have for him. My husband means the world to me ad i really hope he will know that! Sometimes for me it takes some major problem or kick from my husband in order for me to learn, and although the thousands of promises i made to him and never obeyed to him, this time i know i have to give it more than 100%. I don't know whether its the big injection or its my brain, that i know i can make my marriage work and be the best for my husband too. I have a habit of not listening which is not good when in a marriage, if he listens to everything i do then i should too, and show that i respect his decisions he makes for me and what he asks me to do. |
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#2
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Well Neha although it has been 7 years in your marriage and its now that you have realized what you should be like, its better late than never. And the best thing is that you know where you are wrong. When you mentioned regarding the way you talk, well it is something difficult, and generally one would just say it will change with time as its not an easy thing to change, but its good your putting your best into this and making your marriage better. You learn the easy way or hard way at least you have learnt... good luck and best wishes to you! Back to the question of what a wife is? Well in my opinion a wife is someone who loves her husband a lot and shows her affection towards him and not just says it, like they say actions speak louder than word. This applies well in this situation, if you love or care for your husband show him, even if it means giving him a cuddle/kiss when he is not expecting it. A wife is a husbands strength, because a husband feels responsible for the home (whether its regarding bringing fund into the home, taking care of you, the rest of the family, the future etc) its a wife job to be beside the husband as his pillar and stand by him. A wife should be with and by her husband through thick and thin. I know my husband can come to me anytime and I will be there for him always no matter what. I know im always there for my husband and ready to listen to him anytime whether its something he wants me to do or something he wants to discuss or just share with me. A wife is someone who can understand what her husband wants, and I know when my husband wants something even without him telling me! I respect my husband and i know i can show him this through my behavior with him, the way i treat him the way i talk to him, as it will all show in these little actions. I know if i give my husband the love and care, he will too. A wife generally expects a lot from her husband but its important for wife's to know what their husband expects, and im glad that I can give my husband what he wants. |
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#3
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Thanl you for sharing your story Neha, I am sure it will bring inspiration and encouragement to many who read it. It is wonderful that you have been working through the difficulties, overcoming certain things caused by your upbringing, and now you are showing your husband all the love and respect you have for him. Some women never learn that, never admit their mistakes. Some can't or won't show respect to their husband, and Respect is a man's number 1 need.
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#4
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well neha, from what you have written you are either shy or too guilty to bring too franky tell/show your love. the least thing you can do is atleast write a personal letter and give it to him. I hope you both will make with each other pretty soon. Good luck ![]() I don't entirely agree with "Actions speak better than words", with all the tension and the fast paced life, many people get habituated to certain things over a while, so much so that they may never notice any changes around them. so in my opinion, it would best to talk with him or alteast write him a letter. |
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#5
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Yeah just make a way to express him how you love your partner so much and forget about being shy because you're already married. I know that he will appreciate your efforts. Well I'm always flattered everytime my hubby makes this serious face then kiss me and say that he loves me over and over again. *Blush*
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#6
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A wife is a good pacifier to a husband's madness. The fact that there are times,the husband has a problem in the family. The wife can bring him cold and calm down. A good wife must be submissive to her husband..Show respect, care ,and love to him. For this new millinium, not only the husband should provide the family's financial need. The wife can also make some good steps to assist the husband . It is the wife's obligation to make things at home in order and to look after the children. Especially when the husband is extremely busy with his work. A wife's performance to arrange everything at home fine and order is not enough.Pity things ,like giving towel to the husband, preparing his clothes for work are just part of everyday choirs. .The most important thing that the wife should remember always, is this: CARESS AND LOVE. This makes completely good sense. Last edited by gingging; 08-12-2009 at 05:48 AM. Reason: Double post auto merged |
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#7
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Support and strength are the most things a wife can give her husband along with understanding! Sometimes I also think that for men its more difficult to share feelings and that's when a wife should understand and be with him through troublesome times and take a few bad moods, as he wont come out with his problems straight away or express him, which normally make a more stressful. |
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#8
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| Aww! Great story. Thanks a lot for sharing!! Good to see that there are loving, caring people out there who see their flaws and try to change them. After reading this, I really want to do a better job and really think about my actions more. It's sooo easy to get lost in your own head and think that others know what you're thinking, but this is a nice reminder that they can't... |
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#9
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I'm glad that the two of you are still together, Neha. Some people don't realize this until it's too late, and the marriage has fallen apart. I hope that the two of you are enjoying each other so much more.
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#10
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Well a wife is someone who can support her husband through anything be it bad or good! A wife is a husbands strength in many ways, and I see it like this that a wife can bring smiles to the whole family when they are very down! A woman is very understanding and can easily understand all emotions and therefore be the one to the family can turn to!
__________________ Eat Healthy......Feel Healthy |
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#11
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| A wife is going to do anything in her power to make the relationships work (within reason, of course). I think marriage is such a huge step and I would take it very, very seriously. If I ever get married, I will make sure that I'm certain and I won't let little things get in the way and mess up the relationship.
__________________ -Brittany Brydahl |
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