My husband registered with a site, where its highlighted as being a relationship site, he was registered with the site for the past 2 years or so, but I found out about it last year. In his previous times when he was chatting to someone she actually got the wrong impression and wanted to be with him and said she would leave her country and get married to him and blah blah...my husband always told me someone always reacts the way you lead them to think, so like wise for him, but him being a man of course it doesn't apply to him! He can get away with murder!

He used to chat to some girl and he said he wasn't interested and just used to chat for passing time. Then he kind of stopped this, and now started using the site again.

I don't have a problem with him chatting to other girls, but what he does is hide this from me, and always checks his profiles when I'm not there, and checks and chats with other girls behind my back, sometimes even at night when Im sleeping. I talked to him about this, but him being a bloody man doesn't get what I'm saying and just says I don't trust him! But I do trust him and I know he wont ever cheat but like he does other things in front of me why cant he chat with other girls in front of me. I wont stop him, and I don't want to, but before marriage it was all open I got this id and this is the password, but now when I ask him for his password to his new secretive mail id, he says I don't remember, and when I know hes used his id recently he comes up with crap, you don't trust me!

The thing is that why be so open before marriage and when it comes to after marriage and things like this its like lets me secretive and make sure the wife doesn't find out! If it was the case that we had our own lives and own privacy from the start that would be different, but why change something and especially it your not doing anything wrong.

However if i was doing the same thing he was, it would have been bad, maybe the abusive language and the good old slap and so on!

Worst than this is that he has 4 of his pictures up, thinking hes some stud or something and hes mentioned hes single, when hes married! Now that just shows how ashamed he is to feel married and it makes me feel like crap

Then the things he writes on his profile are so full of crap like he likes going out to dinners often and blah blah, then im thinking how many times have we been out to dinner, like once!

I really feel like leaving him now! Dont see how I come in his life or am making it happy for him, we don't even have that trust factor, whats the whole point of the the married relationship!

Internet provides a virtual life & many people tend to do things they won’t act upon normally. I hope this untruthfulness is limited to chats & not your usual life. If it does come up on your relationship then maybe you are correct in thinking of leaving your husband.

So, There is no cut and dry answer for you since each case is different. There are people who enjoy a little on line fantasy but are completely faithful in real life, and the on line life lets them sow their oats without actually sowing any oats Here are my concerns about what you have told me:

1. He lacks regard for these women. He is leading them on to the point that they are ready to leave their lives for him. This is disgusting to me. He really thinks it's OK to treat other humans like this?

2. He is doing this secretly. The only secrets he should have from you is where he hides your birthday presents!

3. You said that he would become abusive if he found you were doing the same thing. There are so many things wrong with this statement I don't even know where to begin. First off, a spouse should never be abusive... secondly, if he were to get all upset to learn that you were doing the same thing, then obviously he does not see it as an innocent little game or he wouldn't care if you did it too.

Based on what you tell me I do not like your husband at all. Of course there is no blanket statement that says that you must leave your husband for this. There are people who are able to work things out based on both parties willingness to change and please each other, but something tells me that he is not willing to change. If you are thinking about leaving him then trust your instincts. Best wishes to you.

Him trying to keep it all secret from you and lying in his profile(s) - especially about being single! - is not good. It seems like he wants to have a second life online, pretending to be a single man, flirting with women, etc. This is not something I'd agree with if my husband decided to have such a "hobby."