Hi,

What is a good age difference between Husband and Wife?

These days we see even wife elder to husband, is it okay in a marital life?

If Wife is older than husband and vice-versa, then, what should be the range
of difference in ages for a good married life.

Can anyone discus how age and marital life are corelated?

Thanks,
Shivangi.

Would appreciate a prompt response.

Can't really generalize, it depends on the couple,
but I would say upto a 4-5 years difference should be fine.

Thanks for the reply. When we say 4-5 years of difference then do you mean husband 4-5 years elder than wife?

the woman can be older than the man too.

The right age between husband and wife does not have a specific rule

Because clearly ,There are girls who accept that the husband is much larger

There are girls who refuse to do so .

There are men who accept that His wife be the largest


There are also men who refuse to strongly

It possible to love a person And marry him who is much bigger of you but he is the best person to ever And vice versa

What is important is who will be

How to deal with you

When it is sincere and kind-hearted, polite and can take responsibility and gentle with you


Do not think anything

Try and imagine your life with him until you can decide to cut the correct

Do not marry who at the age of your father

__________________

Shyness is a blessing from the Allah and an expression of femininity

how does it matter either ways ... same age one year two year....

Thanks to all...it's nice to see your views and thoughts....more replies would really be appreciated.

Any more replies....??

Age does not matter in marriage, whether the wife is older than the husband or vice versa, and it doesn't matter whether the age gap between the two is 1 month, 1 year or even 10 years.

The main thing which counts is that both love each other, understand each other and are happy.

I feel age matters..
Personally i would prefer a guy 2-3 years older than me or of my same age when getting married

Thanks Zilsha, even i have heard this from many people and sometimes i too give it due consideration. May i know your thoughts for this opinion?

Why do you think that age matters?

There are certain things which we learn with experience and time and that's how we gain understanding and identification of things around us; there are some people who are blessed with nature and they realize things without being much experienced.

so how is this related to the age difference and what have you concluded?

Thanks. I haven't yet concluded anything.

Hi,

I am ummarried and i need to get married as soon as possible.
Though there is no definition of late or early but yes,
it's high time for me to get married, even my parents have become old and they are not sure what will happen to them any time.

I belong to a community where we have very less population and i belong to the higher class Brahmin family
(one of the brahmin communities in India)where people are generally very strict and disiplined in making relationships and
opt for only those people who have the similar background.

My parents want me to get married with a higher class Brahmin boy
of the same community.As far as my background is concerned, we are well off financially, well established,
and all are very well educated and having a sound life.
I am also well educated, qulaified, doing well in my career and a good looking woman.

My problem is that my horoscope doesn't match with any eligible bachelor having similar background(as i told u my parents are looking for
same caste/community guy with whom my horscope should match, and the other party also looks for the same always).
Because of this there is delay in my marriage.

Sometimes, men of age 10-14 yrs elder to me show interest in my profile or
some divorcee or widower where me and my parents are not interested in.

Rest, we are not looking for a very rich, wealthy man or very handsome guy
or very highly qualified; we want a guy as normal as anyone would; he should be from our cast/community, well educated, earning good salary so that
he can manage a family (ofcourse i am also a helping hand always), kind, good behaviour and decent lifestyle, looks wise normal.
Still, i am not getting married.

I like someone who happens to be my collegue, he is a good person; but i guess he is younger to me, though i don't know his age exactly,
may be he is 5-6 years younger than me. At times i too feel that he also likes me.

I do know the factor that being good person and a good life partner are two different things,
but i am bit confused to make up my mind.
As i am not getting married and not getting any alliance, my focus goes around that man, or else i had never thought of anyone at my workplace.
I just follow my parents foot steps.

He is kind, caring, intelligent,disciplined,well behaved and has progressive attitude, also he is a brahmin but from other community.
I am not sure whether he also has the same thing in his mind or is it just a friendly gesture and attraction towards a
good looking, somewhat talented female he knows since sometime.

I am not able to take a step ahead as i never did so, being a woman i am bit relutant to take the first step.

I feel a man should take a lead.I just keep in touch with him always, have noraml talks and discussion.

I am not sure the phase i am going through, even he is also going through the same ,then if he is then why is he not coming ahead.

At times i feel, may be as we are collegues, and if the discussion starts and if it is not fruitful then our professional life would get disturbed,
may be he too thinks the same. Moreover,if he knows he is younger to me then may be he is bit reluctant to proceed further, or may be his family
members are against such cases, and this is common, i too have never thought of thinking of a guy younger than me or very much elder than me.
It's the demand of time that makes me think from all the angles, moreover he is a good guy.

I don't know how to start now.


By any chance if the discussion starts and he is ready then would he be able to make up his mind to the place where i am today.
Generally, girls have spouses of same age and elder to them from whom they learn something, get guidance and get good foresight
of future.
But in this case, though he is matured and understanding but the time factor is not with him, at some places i feel
he has not got that maturity , as he has not gone through those things which i have gone through
and he is not experienced there, moreover, his friends are also
of the same age group so his learning is up to that stage only. If by any chance we get married then (though i am very adjusting), will i be able to
cope up with my man's circle of friends younger to me and to my man's limited thinking.

I am very disturbed and confused, please help.


Thanks!!

@SHIVANGI:
Reading your post really made me think.. I too have to admitt sometimes its really difficult to get grooms after girls cross a specific age limit..same case in my community also..
then regarding husband being younger than wife it depends on persons some are really happily married without any consideration of age where as certain marriages fail... take ma word if you think he is of limited thinking(as you have mentioned) think twice or thrice before moving on with the matter..
especially in this kind of matters many people dont have a welcoming approach... try to have a talk with your colleague without hesitations..

just one query...are your sure this feeling of attraction towards your colleague is true..coz is it because you have no good choices for marriage and other proposals are not working for you..??

And as you have told if you really good looking and if you can maintain yourself then half your problem is solved coz i think when guys are younger physical appearance has an important role..

Thanks Zilsha for your reply. Yes, i don't have any choice, but he is good, kind, helpful, understanding, caring, and even he listens to what i say and exactly follows and performs as i have asked him to do.

At times he sounds very matured and smart in action in general life.
He exceeds expectation in profession and performs much better than guys of equal experience and more than his experience. He even looks elder than guys of same age group, his confidence level is much more than the other guys of same age group and experience, both in life and profession.

But yes, at time he puts such questions and reacts to some situations in such a way that i feel he is yet to grow and gain some more experience and maturity; also i do agree with you that such people don't welcome the facts of some cases, they feel whatever they know is right and correct, this could be becuase now he is performing well in career and has visibility and recognition which others of same age group don't have and even some seniors than him don't have, moreover he has better maturity than others of same age group or i can say he has progressive attitude, he is friendly and he tries to keep learning things from here and there, mixes up with everyone and learns a lot; may be because of this he is more confident and feels he knows everything, so this might make him think that whatever he knows is the only thing and when someone more experienced than him puts the facts and other things before him, he doesn't give due importance or he just laughs thinking it to be some non sense, but this is always not true, i a m finding some change in him, he now gives due importance to even those things which earlier he didn't.May be the atmosphere he grew in was different and of course he is young.

Now the concern here is " a person can be good but he might not be a good life partner".This i have heard from matured, experienced people.

I am confused, now i am friendly to him but if i increase friendship with him and at the end i am not able to marry him due to the genuine concerns then he might become dishearted and start hating women in life in future, he might hate an eligible girl for him who might love him very much, he will always suspect a woman later in his life and his relationship with any woman would be sour, in profession and in general life also.

If we get married then would he stop paying attention to me if i lose my charm, ofcourse i may become less charming and less graceful before he becomes the same; and in future if he loses his confidence level which he has today due to some reasons then would he be very much frustrated tomorrow.

I don't know what to do, neither i am able to take the lead nor he is taking.

I at least initiate general discussions, he just replies and gives me suggestions and keeps looking at me, comes and stands near to me, at my side, at my back, in front of me,tries to talk to me but can't talk untill i start something.

Please guide, what shall i do ?

Thanks

Ladies....please help me........

Sometimes, in certain cases where i know the realities and i have encountered and faced those, when i put it before him, he fails to understand it as he is not that experienced and has not gone through it.

If the same thing happens in every moment of married life then it would be very difficult for me.

But altogether he is a good guy.

Hi,

Can anyone look into my concerns and advise!

Thanks.

This is the 21st century, get rid of the high caste low caste mentality.

As long as there is this caste system India will always be
a third world country.

Thanks Bala, i do agree with you. But in my case, the caste system would never change.
Please think of this case from other angle and advise.

Regarding maturity..i think it all depends on situations and the people who are around..so dont be too concerned if he behaves immature at times.. but just know whether he is mature enough to accept such a relation..
Shivangi, does he look older than you..?? if so then you need vey much worry about loosing charm and all..
reading your post i think even he has something for you... but is that something strong enough to end in marriage..? its upto you to find out... i think if he is a good friend of yours then he could be a best partner also...

remember marriages are not an individuals bussiness...the families are also involved... families stand also has to be consulted...
then whats up with your marriage proposals...are your family going strong looking out for guys..??

Yes, my family is very much looking out for me. For more one-two months from now they say they will make attempts as they have been , then after that(now thay have come to a conclusion) they say they will start looking for guys from other community but he should be a brahmin.

I and they both feel that when we go out of community then he should be a known person, and not a stranger as it is already a risk and challenge going out of community.

They have also given me the liberty to chose a guy, provided he should be a brahmin. Today if i get a eligible brahmin bachelor from any community before them then they would give him due consideration; also i have already given them few hints of my ongoing case, and they say "let's see what God has written for you".

I have directly spoken about this guy and my view towards him to my siblings, they say be normal and friendly to him as u were, let's see what happens. They say i sould keep all the doors open, "may be tomorrow he only turns out to be the right person we are looking for.. "

Tell me how should i proceed.

i think you dont have enough time to beat around the bush with the guy..speak to him directly... but presenting your feeling is not an easy task..but you have to take the pain to do it..
listen to your heart and give it a try..

who knows as your family said., thats what is written for you..

but just give a thought...are you gonna proceed with this guy only after 2 months ie., when your parents seeks other community guys or you just want to go for it without searching alternative alliances..??
what if your family manages to get a guy who matches all what you guys were looking out from the very begining..??

Even i have the same feelings, what if down the lane after 1-2 months my parents dream and what we are looking for, comes before us.

I am confused, may be we will never get what we are looking for and in due course may be this person goes some other way, as he is also looking girls to get married, i don't know what's the status, what i can say is, his marrige is not yet fixed.

But once i start discussion with him then i don't want to look back into my community as this would heart this person and after all i have waited so long for a guy from my community.

But how will i start, i have never approached anyone in that way, i am reluctant, if he makes fun of me tomorrow, then what?

One more thing, why he is not trying anything? Does he have any hesitations?

How to break the ice????????????????????????