Thank you Zilsha for understanding me.

keep in touch and do keep posting..k
good luck..

OK Shivangi, Good luck and Best Wishes for your future searches.

-F

I guess we don't need this thread anymore.

Yes, Farce i think we don't need this thread anymore, but i am very happy that in a short period i got so much love and care from everyone in the forum and everyone contributed to her level best. Thank you all so much.

There are some more things which i have come to know recently, i didn't want to discuss but just to share with u and to let u know the kind of people we have around us, is that , though i knew that this guy tries to compete with me and some times i had observed that during work which are done jointly, he is not giving the right staus to Managers about me also invloved in it ,but i overlooked it; now what i have come to know is more bad, he was poking knife on my back without my knowledge and getting it healed by his soft words and sweet smile, he was always trying at my back to spoil my career also by passing on all wrong/incorrect things to the managemnt.This hurts me like anything.
Moreover, not only with me he flirts but also he does the same with other girls in this office and the other places he had worked, this i came to know when i started seriously investgationg about him,i started making observations all around or else i was always carrying a image of him as friendly, kind, caring person.

The fact is that he had realized that i am alone and looking for a soulmate so he misused this part of my life.

hmm... does seem like he is a very cunning guy .. be wary

How do people in your office know that you are on the lookout for a guy ? or have you been confiding in this man ?

I am of marriageable age and every one would know that either my parents or me or both would be looking out for guys...moreover some of us among collegues do discuss about the progress in each other's matter; even sometime back when he had gone to see a girl we came to know about it after he returned back...but he didn't like her...some among guys knew that he had gone to see the girl...we all know that we are looking out for life partners as most of us are unmarried.
One of my colleagues not he, knows my case that my horoscope doesn't match with anyone in my community and we are very strict in making relations and i too know the ups and downs in his life for getting the alliances.

Everyone would know that a young lady would be looking out for a life partner and a young guy would also be looking out for a life partner.

The other guy who is my colleague is also a friend of this guy(the subject) and they often know many things about each other.Moreover, as we say even walls have ears, sometime some other person also could have heard our discussion(me and the other colleague), people generally have all ears, eyes set around to know what is happening in other's personal life.

aaah ok

hope things work out for you

Thanks BB.

It really bites me sometimes by the way people around us fool us, and in my life i have never thought anything bad about anyone nor have caused any harm to anyone.

hey dont feel so low..at times such things happen..so be more shrude again on...
everything will be fine soon...

I personally don't think age matters, but the closer you are in age, the more you'll have in common. It's important to have similar life experience to make things work. It makes things harder if you're a lot older or younger (says the girl who was 18 and with a 40 year old) TRUST ME

__________________
-Brittany Brydahl

Thanks Reina. But in my case things have come to an end. I felt the guy is interested in me but it's 99% sure that he is not interested. I couldn't identify things properly.

I'm really sorry to hear that. Well, everything happens for a reason so I'm sure things will work out for you! You'll find someone better and I'm sure you learned from the experience so it will help you in the future

__________________
-Brittany Brydahl

Yes, it will. But mine is a very typical and critical story.I never saw such case, this guy helps me for whatever i ask him to do but at my back he was different.

I had seen some cases in past where people(men, women both) talk sweet in front of the person and ask for welfare but at the back they are wicked fellows but in this guy's case he does everything what i ask him to do, is kind and takes care of me in front but at my back he showed lot of cunningness.In such cases it becomes really difficult to judge a person.Anyways we now know what the person is.

Not to generalize but this is what i hate in men, first they try to get the attention of the women...they try to distract her from her normal routine life and work...and when a woman gets deviated...then they behave like stranger to her...and there is no point in discussing it as at the end we would get the answer that men are by nature like that ...this is nature's creation so whatever they do is valid, it is that woman should take care of herself and understand the things.

You hate men .... yet you want to get married ??
or are you saying you want one you can be indifferent to , ?

Shivangi, How many men have you closely interacted that have behaved in the manner you have described? I am just curious.

-F

Farce, thanks for taking interest in this topic. These are my observations, i have seen it with many girls facing this situation/conditions and i have also heard of women who had very bad time due to such kind of people around, and this kind of things i have seen with teenagers, adult and when we talk to some elderly women they too tell the same thing from their past experience of life.Married/Unmarried many women say the same thing.

BB, i don't say that i hate men; in case of such men(i have described above), i dislike their nature in this aspect, may be they are good in other aspects.

and Farce, many gentle men even say that "until and unless a guy approaches you and says that i need you till then one should not develop any sentiments for them" i think this is because many men know about the unstable nature and flirt habit of some other men.

That holds true for women too

I think you are just frustrated because your interest in a guy failed to take off as you intended , you have assumed a colleague is interested in you and finally when you figure out he isnt you accuse all men of being flirts and insensitive .

Thanks BB, yes, i do agree some women are also like that and i do agree all men are not like that; yes, but this guy was very cunning...and flirt.

Earlier he used to move around me and all his activities which i have already written above in my previous quotes; initially i used to be so occupied with my work and i had some personal problem like i was not getting married and career wise also i was very ambitious so i never had time to think any thing and just work and rest of the time to try to solve my own personal matters, (but along with this i used to give due concern to people near by me, i am friendly with everyone and do take care of all the people around me); it is he who tried to deviate my mind and make me feel that there is something around me which cares me.

You know, when i became sentimental about him and tried to talk to him, he started ignoring me and avoiding me, i many times even told him that i need to talk to him but he gave me excuses that he is very busy... through out the week and later he stopped responding me and now he doesn't care me at all.

When i tried to come closer to him he started avoiding me...and started looking for alliances for him rapidly....so that i can be avoided....and now i hear that he is going to get engaged soon(not sure but)......this is the way he wants me to just keep mum and forget everything.

You know what Shivangi .. let me point this out to you for the last time, All the things that you mentioned here , all those things that made you assume he is interested can also indicate that the guy was just being friendly , and he could have started avoiding you because you started behaving "differently" around him coz you are interested in him .

It is possible he realised this, that you are behaving differently to him , and because he did not want to make matters worse started avoiding you .

All this probably might have nothing to do with his marriage plans ,

why are you still so hung upon this guys anyways ? It isnt like you guys had an affair , why do you persist in blaming only him , when you have contributed too ?

what do you mean by saying he wants you to keep mum and forget everything ? what does he want you to forget ? did he ask you to forget anything or for that matter remember anything just coz he is getting married ?

Why are you behaving like a female stalker ?

Okay...BB...let us not discuss it anymore......u might be correct to some extent but you have not witnessed what i have and i can't explain it to you....the way he had behaved and was trying to explore things about me...this only a person can do who is interested in the other person or is finding something interesting in other person....what i can say that he was attracted towards me but after gathering all the information about me and after knowing me, his analysis didn't support him to continue with his intentions. However, he is friendly guy...do agree with him and u.

Do agree that i should not stick to this point...anymore.

Thanks.

BB.....u r and u might be correct to some extent.....if u say that i am a contributor then i still say i like him because i liked him....but it was he who diverted my mind....and later avoided me....i am the person who would just look into my work...complete my work and go home.....this is my life since years. If i am a contributor then i am positive contributor...and i contributed to something which was initiated by someone else, someone lit the candle and i supported in giving some oxygen that's it...

I think i need to relax and take some rest. Hi might be right and i might be wrong.

yes I suggest you leave this whole thing aside and focus on moving ahead with other things ...
All the best Shivangi .. I am sorry if I sounded harsh , but I wanted you to get the idea that there is no point harping on about your frustration about this guy when you guys did not even actually have any sort of relationship

Yes BB, i will take care.

Well age matter is common in the marriages. But I think 3 -4 years difference is fine.