I wish to congratulate the Indian Supreme Court on expressing that "premarital sex" and "live-in relationships are no taboo".

At the adolescent age, I have observed that the intensive attraction towards the opposite sex was violently condemned by parents whereas I found those who had the opportunity enjoyed it. The suppressed feelings were not finding an outlet and it was a natural urge while I was under the influence of the tempest of hormones. Some young girls willingly fell prey to the amorous calls but many were inhibited by the society norms and lack of isolated places to practice sex.

In our society we have made a mockery of man/woman relationships. There are two extremes -one end shows the males trapping women with his money, power, and position and the other end where women are scheming to use their beauty, body, and charms to trap the males to get wealth, comforts in life. Myriad shades of relationships exist in between among men and women in this society.

As it is becoming more as a burden than a pleasant life experience, I wish to appeal to the law makers to proceed to remove the unnecessary knots that clumsily hold the couple as none is benefited out of it.

To begin with make it compulsory for school going children to undergo sexual education. Actually the youngsters from the age of ten onwards must be told about the functions of the body parts, the changes that set in over the growing periods, and why nature is bringing such changes within our body and mind, etc, etc. These classes must be conducted four to six times a year at every school but it should be strictly conducted by doctors, para medical workers, and psychologists. There should be separate sessions for boys and girls and strictly no teaching staff must be present in these sessions to give the total freedom to clear some doubts by the participants. Sometimes one-to-one confidential sessions must also be conducted. All over India, intelligent, sincere doctors and health workers are available and they can visit the nearest schools to conduct such classes. You can prepare excellent VCD/DVDs with the help of a team of doctors, psychologists, and social workers in local languages and supplement with these at the direct classroom sessions. I wish to emphasize that sexual education is wrongly interpreted everywhere in India (or all over the world) that it is a way of inducing the innocent ones to "experiment" with sex. There is no "innocence" in this society after my fifty years of observation of life around large number of cities and villages; some are born with more urge and some are lacking in it and mostly it is lack of opportunities. There must be an end to this hypocrisy in our society.

The next steps could be:

-providing free and confidential mode of abortions to women.

-advising the couple to undergo medical tests for AIDS or any sexually transmitted diseases before the marriage.

-not asking for caste/religion in every forms that we fill up in our daily lives

-registering each and every marriage and insisting the marriage certificate as one of the document before issue of a ration card

-build more short-stay homes for abused women

-providing crčche everywhere and charging normal fees where women can leave the child and go for employment (self-help groups can be asked to do this work and they can also earn some money)

-most importantly try to simplify the divorce laws- reducing the period of separation to award a divorce to the litigants citing children are the sufferers, issuing without cumbersome procedures the divorce certificate for separation with mutual consent from the husband and wife, starting more family courts and family counseling centres,etc,etc.

-removing the words prostitution, soliciting, and call girls from the dictionary of police as in our society the guardians of law are benefited by colluding with the gangs who traffic women. Two consenting adults- male and female- must be allowed to enjoy the pleasure of sex. We are repeatedly talking about same-sex marriage, gay and lesbian partnerships which are the fringe factors in our adult society whereas the most predominant normal man and woman relationship is not cared for with all the importance by the law.

Please define the laws clearly and try as much as possible not to interfere in daily peaceful lives of men and women as long as they pay their taxes properly, abide by the traffic regulations, do not steal, take bribe, or spit on the roads.

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Reading the above statements left me totally confused. Pre-marital sex for what so ever reasons can never be encouraged and excused. Especially in the Indian context, its a moral sin and a cultureless deed. I still think that virginity is not all about lack of opportunity. It is more about being strong enough to wait....for the best. It is not all about being a mamma's kid..but more about being THE BEST SPOUSE, because doing it with anyone is no different from doing it with anything.
So everyone should try to uphold their morals and traditions and avoid pre-marital sex as sex before marriage actually kills the charm of marriage and induces a sense of guilt and doubt in the minds of the couples that ultimately leads to a troubled married life.

You are entitled to your opinion, but please don't impose your
morals on others.

thanks
-F

whats the spouse got to do with premarital sex..... we are not talking about extra marital sex....

guilt and doubt ???

Everyones opinion is right in their own eyes.. I was just giving my opinion and i had no intention of being a moral police.

I was trying to say that pre-marital sex are always a reason for many divorces and unhappy married life. Also it increases the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.

In my opinion, This is a very important judgment. Although it is not going to stop or encourage anyone from their actions, it sure does defines the moral background of our current system. I am pretty sure Mr Budha was not smiling on his birthday.

what.......?

We in Egypt have sex before marriage taboos
And it is illegitimate
I feel that I am completely safe and my life very happy
"When I love someone in one day will comes in order to get married and live in a happy family And plenty for kids
When the exercise Egyptian girl sex before marriage is illegal in the right religion and the right of her family
And if she had to have a child in a shelter for fear of its people, as it has become a disgrace by
And because it mostly
That's my opinion and this my life and I am very happy with
Do not suppose my opinion on others, never
Thank you

__________________

Shyness is a blessing from the Allah and an expression of femininity

This is not a reason or even one of the reasons why there are divorces or unhappy marriages! This is something minor, however not talking about your past or previous relationships before marriage with your spouse can be a reason! But solely having sex before marriage is not a reason of many divorces.

But do you you think all the men out there says 'past is past'., forget it and can accept such things..?? Men who are forward minded are there but everyone (gals) doesnt have the gutts to reveal all their deep dark secrets to their spouse naa..

Then from what you say if some dont have the guts to reveal all their deep dark secrets then and their relationship fails, then its purely their own fault! Your supposed to be honest to a spouse and be truthful, if you cant even talk about things or get things cleared then its not much of a relationship to begin with then...is it?

Its not about being forward minded, its about honesty, and if things are cleared before marriage and its not taken well by the other half then one can determine whether their to be is right for them or not. Things like these should be discussed or be told before marriage.

Some women can not take past either, its not just men!

how does pre marital sex increase chances of STD any more than post marital ones ?

considering that premarital live ins amount to a declaration of fidelity in a way.



I so totally agree with Jyoti

Not just spread of STD's, premarital sex has lot more negatives.. Pre-marital sex increases the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Its found that pre-marital sex are in the rise during the teenage years. STD's flourish especially among sexually active teens who engage in unprotected sex..which will lead to the cause of STD's, unwanted pregnancies, abortion etc.. Many STD's mainly Herpes, chlamydia, genital warts, AIDS etc are spread

pre marital sex means sex before marriage ....

that will not in any way increase the spread of STD 's only unprotected and flagrant sexual behavior will cause that, it is not necessary all those who engage in premarital sex are careless.

and anyways live in means the person involved are not having indiscriminate sex all the more reason that they wont be involved in the spread of STD any more that married couples.

that whole paragraph is saying the same thing over and over again ;-)

Yeah thats right..i just had a single idea to convey in that post and i have done it in the whole para stressing it..

Why are we so confused today? Its time to face real life case scenarios and a dose of reality.

Administrator quoted that "At the adolescent age, I have observed that the intensive attraction towards the opposite sex was violently condemned by parents whereas I found those who had the opportunity enjoyed it."
Here are my questions to her?
* Do you think your Parents restricted your freedom because they were against Pre-marital sex?
* What will you want your daughter to do in her teenage years - have live in relationship or pre-marital sex or arranged marriage?

Are you suggesting Pre-marital sex is the way to go?
Lets take a case scenario you come across an attractive guy and have premarital sex and you become pregnant inspite of having protected sex using condoms?
* What do you think is going to happen? Do we have laws in India compelling Men to pay for Child Care as in USA if they fathered a child.
* How does the India society treat single moms who has had a child from pre-marital sex?
* Lets say you get married. How will you feel if your future life partner reveals that he has had Pre-marital sex. Will you be able to trust him?
* Do you think you can support your child financially with your income?

I had spoken to a friend in USA (non Indian) who had pre-marital sex and a child out of wedlock.
When I asked her what life style she prefers for her daughter. She said as a mom she knows what she went through bringing up a child and really hopes the child does not have pre-marital affairs in her teenage years. She wanted her daughter to pursue good career, get married to a successful man and settle happily in life.

Even in USA men think twice before marrying a women who already has a child from pre-marital sex or out of wedlock.

Here's a question to all the young ladies seeing this discussion?
* Why do you think even in countries like USA "Abstinence from sex before marriage" is being emphasized in some colleges. Bristol Palin who is a teenage mom is one of the main person pushing for 'Abstinence from sex' for Teenage girls.
* Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin daughter became preganant at 16 years. After the baby she wanted to marry her boy friend and she was engaged for a while. It turned out that the boy friend had other affairs with other women. Now she broke up with her boyfriend. She is a single mom. Atleast She is lucky to be the daughter of a Politician who can support her and her baby.

Where do we draw a line in today's society in defining women's freedom versus her following her emotional instincts and having pre-marital sex to whom ever she is attracted to? With whom she has no binding - in the sense the boy friend can leave her and move on with another girl to whom he is attracted the next day as there is no marriage contract or laws protecting boyfriend - girlfriend relationships?

* In today's world Indian women feel adventurous to break the earlier society rules and wanting to have pre-marital sex like the teenage girls in the west. * * But the sad part is they are aware of only the first good half of the story they have not heard what happened to those teenage girls after they had the baby.
* Did these young girls loose their careers and job potential because they had a baby early and before they focused on education and career.
* How successful were they as single moms?

Will they do the same mistake if given a second chance?

Think before you act.. I think 'Abstinence from Sex before Marriage' is the way to go.

I totally agree with Zilsha Shah she has left nothing to make any person understand the drawbacks of premarital sex. However, if somebody still insists on it, it may be said that he or she is "unfortunate"

Pre marital relationships are an experimentation of your urge, Men and women do not realize the true meaning of love or relationship till 24-25 years of age. I have several girls in my college who used to keep changing boyfriends every 2 months and says its just time pass and at the same time guys do the same thing for the fun of having sex with different girls. In my honest opinion real relationships begin at 25!

I think premartial sex and live in relationships can be associated with each other but I believe they are two different topics.

Premartial sex in India is still considered as a big no no, and a big shame if ever found out by the soceity. I agree with vivzkestrel about the maturity level and the time when you actually know you love someone is around 23-25, and therefore a better time to go take the relationship forward. There are alot of girls and boys in college who have premartial sex, justforthe sake of it, and not understanding the actual meaning of it all. Its like a trend which has to be followed, but its those who sometimes at a later stage realize they love someone and want be committed to them,for some its ok if they have had premartial sex and for some they realize it was a wrong decision.

I personally think that you need to understand a relationship, know if your in love then take things further.

When it comes to live in relationships in India, well its a common thing now. Many couples move in together, get the experience and of being with a partner and sharing responisbilites. Its obvious there is pre martial sex when it comes to living in, but in many rare cases there maynot be.

I don't know about live in relationships because I have not had that experience. But when it comes to love vivzkestrel and Reena are both correct.

Around 25 you get some sense into your head, some earlier, some even later. By the time you realize what is right or wrong for you, you might have had sex couple of times already.

Some go into depression, while most break away and mature. By the time you know what you want, the good girls and boys are already taken

Yet, somewhere down the lonely road you still end up finding a partner, perhaps walking up that same road, and you fall in love - and this time you are serious and collected.

Although an active sex live is part of a healthy relationship, you are more into building the relationship. Hot wild sex follows when the mind is filled with passion and love.