honestly, i need some ideas on how to tackle a guy...

i am interested in someone but, i need to get to know the guy...how do i go about it? how do i get him to respond?

and if i am interested after talking to him, how do i tackle the guy? the guy is the softie type and i am the direct sort...guys sort of find it difficult to tackle me...so, i have decided that it has the other way around

First of all is there anyone you know who knows him? Which would make it easier for you to approach him and get a conversation going?

Where do you know him from, as if we know then it would be easier to give a suggestion accordingly.

You can also always go up to him and say hi, and say you have seen him around and just start from there. You can also organize a night out with some friends and maybe some common friends who may know him and invite him too.

Yes, I do know of someone who knows him. But, it is not easy to approach him. He is focused on his art and he is very busy. I tried to contact him through e-mail and phone but, he is busy. His interest seems diverted on his art and not socialising or anything else.

Liza i would like to tell you one thing, if you approach his friends, then what ever your intention may be it will reach him as you have a crush on him

so if you want that then go for it else just directly talk to him, dont call because as you sad he is a softie then he needs time to respond so better message him and wirte at last as "when you are free please respond" something like that, show your feelings in such a way that he should feel that you care for what ever he is doing. Try to message him 2-3 times a day even if he doesnt respond. He will surely reply in 1 or 2 days

__________________
Any help you need regarding you health ... Count me IN.

ha ha ha. thanks for your post. well, i am not too sure if i want him think of me as having a crush on him! is messaging him 2-3 times a day ok?would he not think that i am desperate or something? but, of course, as you say if he is sure to reply in 2-3 times a day, it might be not so bad after all..

boys like girls appreciating the work they do, so even though you dont like just act for some days , once he gets close a bit then you can say how you feel about the work. I am sure he will not neglect you, may be late in responding but surely will respond

__________________
Any help you need regarding you health ... Count me IN.

actually, i did call him once. he told me to call him "if there is anything important"...he was busy teaching students at that time...But, i did not call him after that. I do not what "important" means to a guy

that means that he is totally concentrated on work or (sorry to say) he doesnt want complications.

Better first few times send some forwarded messages (general messages) if he doent object then you only type a message and send it to him.

__________________
Any help you need regarding you health ... Count me IN.

actually, it started out with me sending messages and only then, sending forwarded messages.
When i first made contact with him, he told me that i can ask him whatever questions about a certain topic. so i did. unfortunately, i also told him what i thought might be his nature( i met him a few times some time back but, we never talked). the impression of him remained and i started to blabber happily in my messages...he is soft, reserved, etc..
after that, he did not reply to me.and i called him(my previous post!). when i asked why he never replied, he said that he was busy(which is true because i checked!). and of course, he said that i can call him "if there is anything important".

it is hard to figure a guy out. one moment, you are allowed to ask questions and the next, he clams up. was i going too fast?
but, the thing is that when i called him, he asked me my name. and i mentioned my short name(it is general enough!). but, he seems to know. never asked my full name. did he read my e-mails then?

OMG , have you been stalking him ?

anyways, if you what his interests are, you can makeup a situation, where you can ask for his help (read call me if sth important), and then, its upto you to make a good use of opputunity.

If he is present in any social networking website(S), thats you cash cow, to learn more about him.

Golden rule : get to know as much as possible about whatever that you want to do.
PS: it works for both love and war

no, trizi,not stalking him. i met him some years ago while i was studying. i am not even sure how he looks like face to face...it is more of a "how to get to know him?" and "how men think?" kind of process....

what is ash cow?

i do not think that he in any social networking website..he is sort of reserved...i really do not know. i am thinking of forgetting about this guy...wasting my energy and time.maybe, his job is his life

Is he in the same place as you? Why don't you go and talk to him
face to face and invite him for lunch one day.

-F

are you joking,farce? i do not have the guts to do that!

I am not joking at all. Don't go and just directly ask him out on a date
or something. Just say hi and make small talk. He said you could ask him
technical questions right, so go and ask him directly. Just get the
conversation going, when he warms up to you then you will know
when to ask him if he would join you for lunch or cofee.

-F

p.s now you are saying you don't have guts, but in your
first post you said you were the direct type and he was the
one who is reserved. which is it?

Hi, farce, i am the direct sort, yes, but this is a different matter...

when it comes to a man-woman relationship, it is different from your job or simply talking to someone.Do you get it? some people gain experience and confidence by socialising with the opposite sex in this way. and some people are shy in this way.

direct does not mean bold....there is a difference...hope that you got my point.

i started the thread to get some ideas..a learning process..not all of us especially females are bold.

OK fair enough, I understand. Do you have a common friend?
go through that common friend. Maybe that friend can invite
both of you to a party or something and introduce you guys?

-F

yes, your suggestion is similiar to both Sharma and Emperor...i am considering it....thanks.

Sure, Good luck and keep us posted

-F

thanks, farce.

sorry, that was a typo.

Anyways good luck with emperor & farce's suggestion

Well for some reasons girls don't do the first move although you can just do something that will make your crush notice you. It really takes a lot of guts for a girl to confess her feelings to a guy it's like courtship on the other way around. Anyway only some girls are straight forward and some are not.

I think the direct approach is the best way, even if he is a softie. You can simply invite him for a coffee and a nice conversation. That way you'll know a little more about his character and if he's still as interesting as you thought he was, then you can pick up from there and ask him he would like to go for a walk or a movie sometime. We are in the 21st century and I say there is no time to waste - besides, guys find it flattering if a woman shows interest in them without getting all over their faces.

It doesn't sound so easy approaching a guy to ask him out for a date. Then I wonder who's going to pay for the expenses. It's like the japanese way where girls date their boys. I don't think I could date someone who's more timid than me.

Just gather up your courage and go up to him. Start talking to him and don't forget to be yourself. I think that's the best approach.

I would say.. you only live once and you have nothing ot lose. Approach him, give him your number and ask if he wants to hang out sometime. I've done it and it really does work. Honestly, it sounds a lot scarier than it is. You'll be soooo proud of yourself for doing it too.

Girls gotta start taking the initiative, because guys can be just as shy as us