I've been hearing a lot lately that men and women can never really be friends because it always leads to sex. Do you think that's true? I honestly don't know what to think, but I know that I've never had a male friend before.

I disagree. Not all friendships lead to sex and I have many male friends with whom this has never even been a consideration. If, in the beginning of the friendship, it is clear to both parties that this will be a strictly platonic relationship, it is easy to keep it that way during the course of the friendship. Of course, one must avoid the flirting and sexual innuendos and stick to the more ''friendly'' conversations and activities. The only reason why a friendship with a male can get sexual is because both parties want it to become that way, yet they refuse to admit it to themselves.

QFT.


-F

p.s very well put.

Any guy friends I have had have always wanted more, so I think it can work, but it may be leading them on.. or they may be hanging around in hopes of being with you one day

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-Brittany Brydahl

What if this guy just gets the wrong impression? He might think that you're attracted to him, but you're just being nice. Nice does not have to equal affection, it just means that you're nice because you have manners and don't want to treat people badly. Apparently, people seem to misinterpret that.

One would have to be really ignorant to ''misinterpret'' being nice as being attracted. It is true that some men or women pretend to think that they believe you're attracted to them, but again, there is a huge difference between the two things. Human relations get complicated like this because we refuse to communicate what our true feelings are. I can't believe that a man will still think that I am attracted to them in any other way than friendship if I made it abundantly clear that we are strictly friends. Otherwise, it is not even worthwhile spending time with this person anyway.

HI I'm new to this forum.
But I have few important things to say.
I'm married and Have a kid of 4years.
I was very optimistic about life. I thought my marriage life will be wonderful. But my husband hates movies, he doesn't flatter me...even before or after having sex. I always used to feel I deserve more and I'm getting very less. Because in the office life I am very talented, good at communication and hard working. After I realised I have these qualities or better say people started praising these qualities in me. A type of Craving for recognition started in me. And when tow of my batch mates (who joined along with me) after 5 years of my marriage come and say that they are in love with me.Given a chance five years back would have married me and all nonsense. then I started feeling I made a mistake by marriying my husband as he is not at all upto my expectations.
I always used to think why cant men and women be good friends without any selfish ends.
I met a guy recently who was flattering me upto my needs. I really missed marrying you.Though my conscious mind was saying you don't enter into this foolish trap...somehow I fell into it.
And that fellow mesmerised me and when his wife was out of station and myself also single. Took me to his house and satisfied me fully. I was very much impressed by his ways of dealing with a lady.After everything was over for a week or so he was talking normally..and slowly when I became dependent on him for love he started avoiding me. Then he also started blaming me and emotionally black mailing me, that you have a daughter, husband your main responsibilites are they. you should forget me...and so on...
I was totally lost. and when I used to realise that he played a game with me and used me I used to get a shivering from inside.Being used as a doll for his sexual needs or whatever. That is not his total picture. He wanted me to be suppressed and just think about him and be engrossed what is really happeining, as I will spoil my present. I will lose all my energy as I will not be happy. You believe it or not it is such a misery to a girl. Don't know whether to live or die. I was in such a depression for about two weeks then started to analyze him and found that he is just playing a game with me.
I forgot all my strengths now. I'm just thinking should I show my talents or keep them with myself and just feel happy for having such possessions and making no use of them.
I really don't know what to do.
Why am I emotionally so weak? or is it nature os women.
For few days nothing was seeming to me, no beauty care....I was totally depressed. Now I got a lesson in life that be happy with what you get in life.Don't over expect anything. No body will sacrifice anything for you. You just ask your husband for your needs. If somebody is flattering you than it is just for his enjoyment. Any guy for that matter runs away from you the moment he is shouldered some responsibility.

its so sad that your colleague miss used your friendship and did 'wrong' things with you in his house when his wife was not there.

Very bad guy.

I think he must start taking responsibility of his actions and bring his life back on track.

I think men and women can be good friends.. But at times we get too close with the person that it sometimes turn into relationships.. I have seen many friendship turned to love..and in such cases majority of the times, neither friendship nor love will last for them..

Dgayatri, sorry to hear that. You should forget about that 'friend' and
go back and be with your husband and daughter. Maybe your husband
will forgive you if you truly repent and say it won't happen again.

good luck.
-F

men and women can never really be friends because it always leads to sex.

I strongly support this sentence

Especially if the girl was beautiful

The man will not have seen a friendship never

To be a man

Therefore, I do not see a friendship between a man and a woman is a good thing

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Shyness is a blessing from the Allah and an expression of femininity

i dont think that men and women can never really be friends and always sex would be the motive behind such friendships..
Might be in certain situations its seen to be right but not always..
A guy could be a true friend..
So you dont have any close friends who are boys..??

I do not have friends of the boys never

This is supported by the Islamic religion

And men east of the qualities that jealous

For the Eastern man does not accept to be his fiancee and his wife have friends men

__________________

Shyness is a blessing from the Allah and an expression of femininity

I stongly disagree with you two ladies. I have had some very close
female friends and it never led to sex.

So there you go I just disproved your theory ;-)

I think my friend Busybee is going to agree with me ;-)

@farce:
I never advocated the theory that men and womens friendship leads to sex always.. Men and women can be good friends..
I also have good male friends.. I strongly believe that boy make better friend to me than girls.
But its also true that in some cases it tends to lead to sex..but again that depends from person to person..

Hi Friends thanks for responding to my reply.
I just want to caution the hipocritic nature of some men. They seem to be very good and have good name in the society and a responsible position and yet they tend to play with ladies. That dual nature can often be confused by us. The natural instinct of a man when he sees is woman is the same. However he wants to project it as good friendship it is just a cover for the society.
remember your school friends who still have contact with you are well wishers to you. But the ones daily seeing you and observing you. Your good qualities or rather confidence will trigger the sexual appeal and whatever flirting he does speak is just to get that from you.
Collegues are just to be treated as collegues.There are different ways to suppress and dominate other people. Upon women they play this emotional strategy.

dgayatri, don't blame the man alone, take some responsibility for your actions.

-F

I agree with you on some things


That there are men who want to play with women

That is very true and this in every country
There are men of this kind

And you can not find out what they are


Collegues are just to be treated as collegues.There are different ways to suppress and dominate other people

I also believe that the University Fellowship has its limits

Is there anyone who can control the feelings of others? Never

So I think that the friendship between men and women are undesirable

__________________

Shyness is a blessing from the Allah and an expression of femininity

@dgayatri : ok so you wanted to be flattered and have fun .... you had it ; now stop whining about how the guy misused you .....

If you are no longer happy with the way your colleague is treating you find some one else who will , since you are sure your husband wont ... stop the charade and talk to him about whether you guys want to stay married .

@Zilsha : Not all friendships lead to sex nor does all sex lead to love or friendship , friends can be friends and sex buddies just sex buddies stop confusing everything together.

@Farce : Man....... we should get the Nobel for education

@Doameto : ( I am sure i will get to elaborate after you post a bitter diatribe here )

translation please.

i AM not confused..i know not all friendship leads to sex..but some may lead..especially when people try to get sex buddies in friends.. Sex buddies seek sexual pleasure with friends naa

Zilshah you did say this didn't you. Now what you are saying is
not what you said initially. maybe that double negative (dont, never) is
misleading and conveys the opposite of what you want to say?

-F

Well , Arab men jealous

Does not accept that there is another man touch his wife or fiancee

__________________

Shyness is a blessing from the Allah and an expression of femininity

what ? , Translation, please?

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Shyness is a blessing from the Allah and an expression of femininity

seems like i got you wrong zilshah , you seem to have meant that men and women can be friends