Dealing with Divorce
One of the problems that is haunting the Indian community is the increasing rate of divorce. It is not an easy phase to go through for both partners as divorce brings problems at different levels. It certainly brings heart ache to the partners in most cases though both have asked for divorce and made their decision independently without any external pressure.
Divorce is not just about separation of the two partners legally; it has emotional dimension as well attached to it. At times, both partners may want divorce and in some situations, only one partner may want divorce while the other partner may want to live together. In such cases, the partner that does not want divorce will be depressed.
The first time you get this idea about divorce, you must not brush it aside. You must immediately try to analyze your marriage and see why you are getting this feeling. You must also closely review the relationship with your spouse. Whether there has been a particular incident that has triggered the thought of divorce in your or whether it is a result of longstanding frustration and irritation. If it is based on a specific incident that happened recently, you may want to reconsider your options before you took any serious steps because it may be a temporary urge. On the other hand, your urge to file a divorce is due to pent up frustration, then it is best to talk to your spouse and see whether you can come to terms with the differences that exists between you. Never start the topic asking for divorce and work backwards because it will create ill feelings between you even if you patch up at a later stage.
You must therefore try to address the problems when both of you are not under any other pressure such as work pressure. You must see whether you should take drastic measures. You must be all the more careful if you have children because your children will suffer the most out of your separation. You must also take this into consideration your children. As adults we can always have a discussion and come to conclusions that will create a win-win situation rather than going for divorce.
If nothing works out after discussion and if you still feel that you should go for divorce, get professional legal help here. Try to get experienced lawyers that can assist you. The first step in the process will be geared towards helping you find a common ground and help you continue without separation. So good lawyers will not encourage you to go for divorce without exploring all the possible avenues of continuing without divorce unless you have serious reasons that endanger your life or hurt you physically.
Both court of law and at human level, separation is not the best solution rather working out a solution that will help you save your marriage is the best solution. So do not file your divorce for trivial reasons.
I agree anu separation is not the best solution.
Misunderstanding leads to divorce. The solution is healthier communication on both sides will be effective. One thing due to divorce is their children loose their happy life.
It should also be added that there are good marriage mediators and counselors out there world wide that can offer insights into what is happening.
many times a dicvorce can happen because each perosn feels overwhelmed at teh marriage itself. they feel pressure to live up to expectations that are not real.
one thing that no one ever says is relax. Being married can take years and years of compromise, balance and realization. After all you are two people that have separate tastes and ideas.
One thing my great grandparents and parents said, is if you go to work, leave work outside the door, never go to bed angry, if something is bothering you, even if no one is around ot hear it talk it out loud.
Often hearing you say whats bothering you can alleviate problems and let you see a way to deal with it. That's is in everyday items.
Well there are different kind of person on how they act when dealing with a divorce some would react and just fold and make there lives miserable some would respond and move on it would just depend on what is the emotional backbone of the person is.
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