What is the 'normal' time-frame for getting over an ex? I broke up with mine in September and sometimes I feel I'll never get over him. I mean, he doesn't consume my thoughts all the time like I used to, and I haven't cried about how much I miss him in about a month or two, but it gets so hard.

Sometimes, while I'm sitting home with my boyfriend (We met and that's right around the time I broke up with my ex-I SWEAR it wasn't planned that way, although I'm sure it looks terrible!), I can't help but compare him to my ex and wish that he could do some of the things my ex used to do.

My ex used to love watching chick flicks with me and it was never a big deal. My new man just wants to be so tough all the time, and it's frustrating. I want him to be himself, but then again, maybe that is how he is.. I just feel that he's hiding his feeling and I want him to open up to me.

It has gotten better over the past few months, and I feel I'm finally starting to move on from my ex emotionally. He was just my best friend for so long, and whenever I was upset, I'd always tend to run to him instead of my current boyfriend, which I know is TERRIBLE.

Lately I'm worried, because my ex is talking about moving out of state and I'm not sure what I'll do without him here. He has been my support for so long and I've lost so many friends in the past that I'm scared to lose him as well.

Any advice? I just don't want to mess up my current relationship!

Gosh, I bet that isn't what you wanted to hear.

When my marriage broke up we both remained in the same town. Disaster!!

Why? Because I could always run to him when I needed too. He would do the same.

But the reality wasn't that we loved, appreciated or respected each other, it was just that was what we knew. You know we just turned to each other.

I finally realised that if my husband didn't want the full marriage commitment stuff then I had to make myself off bounds to him.

I deserved better than that. When I moved two towns away he found someone else and I was slowly able to rebuild my life rather than stay leashed to him.

Don't do the same thing to yourself. Don't stay hooked to a guy you can't have, for what ever reason. Maybe don't stay with a guy that may not be the type of person you want and need either!!

I am sure you will work out!!!

I know its hard to move on without looking back... But still you must try not to look back... Else you'll hit a rock!

You are lucky to find a new partner immediately after your break-up... That helps... But don't ever try to compare him with your Ex... As every one is unique... Try to enjoy your time with him... Tell him about your likes and dislikes... Get to know about his too...

As Jules said... Its good that your Ex is moving away from your geographical proximity... It will help you to come out of it soon...

And it will give your present boyfriend a chance... to give you the support you need whenever you are disconcerted!

abeja first all i know it must be hard for you, losing your ex and also not being able to get over him, then now that hes moving to another state! It easy to say not to get attached to anyone, as it happens naturally, but one thing you can always do is not get too close to them, if you know things will not work out or wont be forever.
Time is a big healer and you will slowly stop feeling the way you do about your ex, and its natural to compare common people so comparing a boyfriend is natural, but remember everyone's different in their own ways.
Your ex moving to another state is maybe good for you, but you just haven't realized it! It will give you a chance to concentrate on your current relationship and enjoy your life even more.

Just remember if he can move on, so can you. Your lucky you have found someone quick, and cherish that. It not bad you found someone straight after breaking up, your just lucky.

remember he is an ex for a reason. Let him move on and
you should too.

-F

Well, after you broke up I think it's now your time to move on. But some would ask, How? if I still love him/her? As what I have read, when you are moving on, try to forget everything that makes you remember him/her. I know it's not just easy but don't worry guys, you can do it.

Just forget about your past. Be happy with your current boyfriend. I know this will take time but you'll eventually move on. If you still have issue with your previous relationship, I guess you should talk to him. If you are still bothered about him, that could only mean there is still something that must be settle, right?

It's really hard to move on especially if you've spent most of your time with him when you were together. Those memories are hard to forget and it's really painful when you can still remember it. If there's a memory eraser I would gladly use that just to forget the past and look after the present and future. Big girls don't cry right? We have to be tough.

Thanks everyone! You have all been very helpful. And, just to kinda get everyone caught up.. I still talk to my ex, but on September 1st (weird that I always dump guys in September.. hmm.. never realized that!!!!) I moved to Reno with a new boyfriend. The guy I was with just wasn't working out. He wasn't understanding my anxiety, depression and OCD and he could be pretty demeaning. I know I probably left in the wrong way, but I didn't wanna have a confrontation. So, I got all my stuff out while he was at work. Is that mean??? So ya, now I live a few states away. So, I'm away from both my ex's. However, also away from my family, but I really think this will be good for me. i don't want to depend on everyone anymore. I think by moving to Reno, my life is finally mine and I can grow. I just felt everyone was treating me like a child. I'm on my own now.. for real!!!

It's scary to leave my dad and gma.. they were always my security blanket, but it's good to know I still have em. I'll visit as soon as I can. I hope they'll treat me different then. My dad was just getting really controlling, always wanting to hang out. I know he didn't see me from the age of 14-18, but that was then.. he needs to not dwell on the past. I did that for sooo long and it's the worst thing you can do to someone. It was making me stuck to...

anyway, sorry this is so long.

Thanks again for all the great replies