My husband left after I had breast cancer. At least he waited until I recovered. After 14 years of marriage he left. He still paid the mortgage.
Now after 1 and a half years he is out of money and said he has the right to move back in. Whic by the way he did after I said no way.
Here is the problem he is on the computer 16 to 17 hours a day. This women calls him continiously throughout the day and they talk for hours. He tries to tell me its only one of his poker friends from online. This women is from Chicago and so is my husband,she is always asking him to come back up there.His reply is i'm thinking about it.
I find this very humiliating and wrong.I am so miserable now.
I would really like a mans opinion on this also.

You should kick him out not only from ur house but from ur life!

He left you alone when you were down and out... Still you gave him a chance... Now you say hez on computer for long durations... Which means hez not bothered about spending some quality time with you... hez not even trying to make up for some of the lost time...

Finally, hez so shameless, that he is thinking of or already have an extra-marital affair... What more you are waiting for? Try to gather your inner strength and will power... Just chuk him out!

This is a complicated case. When you say 'he left' was it a
legal separation? Did you get or apply for divorce?

Why was he still paying your mortgage?
and most importantly do you have young kids
because it doesn't seem to be a very healthy
atmosphere in your house.

Talk to him, if you think you can work things out do so,
otherwise you can move out if the situatiin is unbearable.
Is he abusive in any way?

Good luck. Feel free to ask any questions, we are men
with lots of experience.

-F

I totally agrees with Maddy. How you are tolerating that man in your house he left when you needed him the most. Such kind of person with no emotions should not be a given single chance.

No children in home. I told him I did not want him here and to to back to Chicago. Went to zoo with Granddaughter and when I came back he was moved in. He has always been a cold person. Non legal sep.As far as spending time with me no way. Aim is to get money and run again. I told him his coming and going is hard. He said "you got over me once you can do it again"

How shameless he is... I would suggest its time to protect your own interests and mental peace... Explore what legal options you can use... Get rid of him lady!

maya, in light of the new information you have given I would
advice you go go for a legal separation. Take him out of
your bank accounts, wills, stock portfolio, 401K etc.

serve him divorce papers and/or move out and move
on with your life.

-F

The comment to have a legal separation, once and for all sounds like the only way you may rid yourself of this guy.

Your heart must feel a thousand different emotions and no one can tell you what to do. But you know what??

This man doesn't appear to have any concern for you, it sounds very much all about his needs at this time!!!

That is not the type of person I would be turning myself inside out for.

You have grandchildren and they will help you feel loved and needed if you do get him out of your life.

Good luck.

Since you did not have legal separation and he just left you and still paid for the house, he has every right to live in that house. However miserable you feel with him around, you cannot legally make him leave the house, right? He could (in all probability) also bring into the house his girlfriend. (Heavens, forbid!) I agree with the suggestions given, to consult a legal counsel and make legal moves for separation. Otherwise, you will be miserable for the rest of your life.

Just get a divorce. Why didn't that happen in the first place? He left and then came back, but you never took any action like get a separation or a divorce? The problem is inaction. Why don't you talk things over since it seems like you're roommates now.

I don't think he has any business staying in your house, even though he kept on paying the mortgage after he left. If he has no love for you and he's keeping his own affairs still going while he's with you, I don't see any way other than you getting rid of him.
If he had the ridiculous idea of coming back just so that he can skim off your money now and go back again, prove him wrong and show him the door. It might be hard but you seem to be a strong person and I am sure you will be much happier without him around. Good luck.

You always think that maybe it will work this time. and well it doesnt. I did that for so long with my first husband. I thought well, I can tough it out, get ajob when my daughter is older and goes to school.
Then I realized when he gave away the money and he spent hours on the system that this is not going to work. I went home to my mom and stayed put. Nine months later I filed for divorce.
even during the divorce I thought my mom would be right to stick it out. but I carried on with it. I was thrilled.
When they no longer want you for anything other than be a maid then its time to leave or get things in order to be able to leave.