Some couples choose to separate but not divorce, for different reasons. Sometimes they hope that temporary separation will help them to work things out. Sometimes separation is long-term, they think that it is somehow "better" than divorce. What do you think of that? Do you know such couples?

I know couples who have separated for a couple of years and ended up divorcing anyway. It is very hard to work out your differences from a distance, and it usually is a sure way of meeting someone else instead of working out on the problems with the partner.

I think it's a good idea to try separating and see if that helps any. If things aren't changing and you aren't communicating and trying to work things out, then you might as well get divorced in my opinion. I realize that divorce is so major and even I would be intimidated by it, but sometimes I think it's necessary if things just aren't ever going to work

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-Brittany Brydahl

I agree that once that step is taken, it is very common for separation to lead to divorce. I have, however, observed permanent separation, so to speak. The couple had problems, but supposedly they did not split because of those problems; the wife's job was transferred to another state, and they had agreed that she would go and the husband would join her later. Well, he never did. Today, 20+ years later, they are still legally married, but live in different states, each one in their own house.

I once went to see a solicitor about getting a 'legal' separation but was advised to go ahead and just get a divorce! I didn't take the advice and me and my husband are still muddling through.

There are a few couples who have separated for a while and got back together with great results. I suppose it depends on the terms of the separation too, I mean, would you think it okay to separate from your partner but still expect them to stay faithful to you?

I suppose that depends on whether the couple is working on the marriage or considers separation as the first step towards divorce. I know I would still consider myself married and stay faithful. And if I found out that my spouse is not, then I'd have my official reason for divorce.

I think it's hard to see how a separation won't lead to getting a divorce. It doesn't always do the good that it's intended to do. Although, there are a lot of people who get separated but end up getting along better even though they live in the same house. I'm not sure how that works, though.

There are a few celebrity couples who say they have separated and got back together with excellent results.

I don't see how it can work like this either. I think perhaps a separation is the first step towards getting a divorce.

I also have a friend who has remarried her ex husband after being apart for a couple of years. They just realised that they could not be whole without each other.

My husband moved out 3 weeks ago. He felt he needed to have some "space." He has been quick to anger, and he is not sure where these feelings have been coming from. I am looking for some "rules" or guidelines during this time. We have not been intimate in at least 6 weeks. He has been in counseling and we are starting couples counseling next week. He assures me he does not want a divorce. Nor do I. Does anyone have any ideas on what kind of rules we should impose on each other during this time? Not dating anyone is pretty much unsaid, but a given. He is working hard to save our marriage, and I also want to work at that.

Thanks for your input!
-db

Im not such an expert on this kind of advice, but one thing i would suggest is that you set a day and time of when you two can send time together, just the two of you. Either go out somewhere together, or have a nice quiet dinner at home, watch a movie together or do something else together which you both enjoy like some kind of sport.

If you have kids, have a day when you spend time together as a family too.

Best of luck with your marriage.