I don't understand how the courts work. My mother was found an unfit mother in two different cases involving my siblings, yet, I remained under her custody for 10 years following. (I was about 10 when it happened) Why is it that women typically get custody of children, even when the men would be a better match?

I mean, my dad wasn't working at the time, but I still would have been better off with him, because my grandma lives with him and has money coming in each month. It seemed like no matter what I said, who I talked to, I was pushed under the rug and completely ignored. No one ever checked on me to make sure I was eating enough, make sure I felt safe (which I didn't), and all of that. Don't you think that's important? I understand that it would take a lot of time, but if the government really cared, they would figure something out.

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-Brittany Brydahl

This is so strange... First off, I think they should have asked the child: whom does the child want to live with? Secondly, aren't social workers supposed to check on children in troubled families? I thought each case was being monitored, and if the child ever complained, their complain would be heard.

As Lissy mentioned, courts usually ask the child where he or she wants to stay. Moreover, they consider the overall situation of the both parents. Mothers are given custody by preference but they have to show that they are fit to take care of the child. In your case, something must've gone quite wrong. I hope you have reconciled yourself with what happened in the past.

I have tried to deal with the past, and I'd say for the most part, I'm a lot better. I still have those times when I ask 'why' and wish things could have went better. All I wanted my entire childhood was to turn 18. That was the only goal I had, so when I turned 18, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I've learned to think more positively since then and that good things came out of it. Now, I can help people who have gone through the same thing, because I've been there. Sometimes support is all you need

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-Brittany Brydahl

You are a very strong person, and it is great that you want to help others in a similar situation. I can't imagine what it is like for a child to feel unsafe in their own home...

Mothers are usually seen as caring people. Being a mother changes a woman, and she usually adapts to these changes. For men, the transition is usually much more difficult. I think that's why people automatically assume a woman will take care of a child. Plus, more men abandon their children than woman, don't they?

I thought the guardian ad litem office was supposed to look out for the best interests of the children. The court system is favorably slanted towards women in many aspects.

I know a family where the woman's boyfriend was suspected of having hurt one of her children. It was not certain that he did it, since the child couldn't clearly tell whether he fell by himself or was hit / pushed. Still, all the children were immediately taken from the house and placed into foster care. After thorough investigation, it was determined that they could be returned to the mother. So these things are not taken lightly. I am surprised to hear that in some cases a bad situation is overlooked.

I think the court gave an unfit judgement. If the mother is unfit why will you suggest her to take care of her child. I must say he must've been under the assumption that all moms are the one's who can raise a child better.

To consider the unfit mother , is that the one who doesn't take care of the child's good upbringing morally and physically..

At one time there was a presumption that the best interest of a young child was to be with the mother. Now both parents are on equal footing. Children need both parents in their lives. The courts are not substitute parents, they only step in when the parents are unable to put their own desires above the best interest of the child.

Favor can be slanted unfairly towards the woman if the man appears to be worse off than the woman. For example, if the man is unemployed and the woman has a steady job, the woman will get custody.