Marriage brings a unique set of challenges to women in India. Unlike in the other parts of the world, Indian women are subjected to tremendous pressure when they get married. The demands placed on her are too difficult to be met. No one complains because that is what we have been used to and that is what we have been seeing while growing up. We know that we too will one day have to go through this so there is hardly any resistance from our end. Some of us readily if not happily subject themselves to the demands and strive hard to meet them.

There is a great demand from the husband, the in-laws, the parents of the woman and society. Women lose their freedom almost completely and they live within a very close boundary. They need to try very hard to please everyone. Newly married couples are not left on their own to make their own decisions. For instance the couple may not want to have a baby as soon as they are married. They might like to postpone it until they get financially stable. Meanwhile they undergo tremendous criticism from either site, that is from the groom’s family as well as from the bride’s family. They make us feel as if the whole purpose of marriage is to give birth to children. Sometimes, they give into the pressure and criticisms and decide to have children. Once they have children, the relationship between the husband and wife starts thinning out day by day because the wife who has now become a mother has very little time to take care of the needs of her husband. The husband on the other hand is busy fending for the family. The gulf between the husband and wife increases even before they started to know each other fully. This is one of the major areas of challenge to Indian women. They have very limited freedom to express their desire, wishes and opinions about the matters regarding to their family. Often the groom’s parents decide for the couple.

Modern day women are also working and they have to please their bosses at work as well. This doubles or triples the pressure on the women. She needs to meet her targets and deadlines at her work and at the same time they should be back in time to avoid insults and criticisms from the family. Women get torn apart in such a situation.

Along with these external pressures, she will also have her own dreams, fantasies, desires and aspirations for life. After marriage all these start going out of the window one by one and soon she loses meaning in life. Here life centers on her children and husband.

If you do not want to become yet another number in this list, you need to be assertive and being assertive does not mean being arrogant in any way. You should know clearly what you need as an individual and you should be able to stand by your own needs without succumbing to the pressure around you.

I don`t think I could live like that. I like the way it is here in the USA. Women can do what they want to do. Of course in a marriage you have to compromise with almost everything. Most of the time it`s okay but I know that this is my last marriage. I love my hubby very much but I still miss being on my own sometimes and being able to go anywhere I want to without having to discuss it first with someone else. I would like to move out of Florida but he doesn`t. That type of thing is what I am talking about.

What an excellent post!

The demands on women in this modern era are enormous. I know I often feel under pressure to be some sort of superwoman, and I am expected to take care of the family, the home, all the chores and work at the same time.

Women today are told that they can have it all, but in reality I honestly don't think they can.

It fascinates me that no matter where a person might live or how different our cultures are, women everywhere are experiencing the same feelings in marriage. The common denominator in a woman's life in this era is the feeling of being overwhelmed. It seems to me that we are responsible for so many things that we deplete ourselves.

I meet couples who encountered more challenges of their relationship by the age of 40. Are you familiar with the statement "life begins at 40"? Do you believe this? I guess, this is one of the reasons why they undergo with this problem or challenge.

I am familiar with a culture where couples and especially women are pressured into having children. Child-bearing is viewed as the whole purpose of a woman's life; even single women might be pressured into having a child (out of wedlock), just to fulfill this perceived "purpose." You can encounter such an attitude even here in the US, although to a much lesser degree.

This triple pressure on the women (wife, mother and worker) is being experienced all over the world. It is really amazing how the women of today has come out with the resilience and the outstanding strength to balance every role. (though not all women can do it). Women are truly the most amazing species on this planet.