hello everyone....

I am 28 yrs old married working in an college....I am not able how to leave a peaceful life with my husband...i am from indian, living in delhi

we both r working and well educated... but not able to understand each other from last 3 yrs. time from we get married..i have a daughter 10 months old , but she live with my parents as we both r working
my husband used to abuse me and sometimes to my parents also on my things...such as

they had nothing given in dowry ( but they had given 2 lk cash along with many other things...including gold n silver too . and beside this i was not given anything from my in laws just 2 saree..and some gold.& silver jwelleary costing around 40 to 50 k )

he used to also abuse i had not been grown properly by my parents...bcoz i wear modern dress inside house and that also when we both r alone...

he used to abuse me for each n everything ...including he also say i m not at all gud looking n he want to have some other women ....he dont take me out as he feel insulting going with me....

during my maternity i left my job then he said i had to make controls on my outgoing as i m not at all earing........

and also i had a caserian and beside that also i used to get up from bed and till all homeworks ..including wash clothing n all...

he want me to stay with his parents in his city n he want to live alone here...and he says to save money he want to do this...

i dont know what to do ..every day he used to abuse me n my parents.... and point on each n everything...


plz suggest he..should i leave him or live with him in same manner...i dont want to leave him also .. he said me many time that y dont i go to my parents home...beacuse i know once i ll go he will get one points for me....

Renu

Hi Renu, sorry to hear about your situation and the abusing that you are going through.

Because you have a child I think it is very difficult to make a decision on what to you about living with your husband or leaving him, and also because you want to live with him.
When it comes to thinking about your daughter then if you think about her, then its best to maybe stay together, but then again there is abusing which you have to go through. Even worse that your parents have to suffer.

But as you say you want to stay with him, try talking to him when he is a good mood, talk about your feelings, on your relationship and how you can make it better or him make it better (thats if hes willing to listen to his own improvements).

The fact that your husband says he wants to go with another woman, well you need to know if he has someone in his life, whether he is seeing someone else or not. If not then trying making your self look good, stay fit, tone up, go to the parlour, get a new hair cut.

If your mother in law is understanding and easy to talk to, trying talking to her about the situation. I would reccommend you not to move in with your in laws, and live with your husband and not leave him to live alone.

Hope everything turns out well for you and your family.

I would advise you to talk to someone elder in the family about this, but not your parents, instead someone from the in laws side, and preferbaly someone who your husband listens to.

thx.. neha

i am try my best to overcome my this problem ..hoping for something gud...