I am middle aged. I had a stroke a few years ago. My wife & I have been married for twenty five years but no children. She is now desperate for children because I have become totally impotent. Even before this stage I did have a low sperm count. We have discussed artificial insemination but I have some concerns. It the donor is known to us then we have no anonymity. If the donor is a stranger then the child may not look like me.
She's becoming more frustrated now because I cannot penetrate her. I have offered to engage in foreplay & use sex toys but she refuses. She insists that she needs the real thing inside. There is a lot of strain on our relationship i.e. fighting & arguing and not sleeping toghether. She has nursed me through my difficult times. I am not bothered about kids any more. She is desperate to get pregnant. I have even suggested that I will allow her to become impregnated by someone else. The bitterness in the relationship is due to the lack of intercourse,foreplay,&intimacy. I miss all that & so does she. She said that she will only allow me to touch her when I regain strength in my genitalia. I keep thinking of all the good times that I've had with her & now we're both missing out.
Am I being too harsh or unreasonable? I have no problem in raising someone else's childsince I am quite good with kids. Adoption is not really an option since she is the type of person who needs to give birth in order to bond with the child.
I do miss her company in bed. We are not too old. I just want to be held by her & hugged. I am open very open minded. I have no objection for her to be impregnated by a close friend. I just want the intimacy back that we once had.

Can anybody please help?

where are you located? what about travel and accomodation?
I have a few friends in Nigeria who might be interested.

-PB

"It the donor is known to us then we have no anonymity. If the donor is a stranger then the child may not look like me."
If the donor is known to you also, the child will not look like you unless that person is your brother or cousin

That is what I was contemplating.

artificial insemination doesn't necessarily need a third party,
they can do invitro fertilization of your own sperm with your
wife's egg and then implant it in the womb, have you considered
that?

-F

Thank you for your reply.

I am completely impotent and even if was able to ejaculate it would be completely zero.

Pulse.

are you sure? stroke might affect the mechanics, but not the sperm count.

A few years ago I was able to maintain an erection and when I had sperm tests they eventually showed a zero count. Since then I have become completely impotent.

I don't think your unreasonable.your wife should understand what you are going through.

Thank you for your reply. She has distanced herself from me totally. There's no intimacy left , which I really crave for.

I believe the only thing that you could do now is to pray to guide you. However, on the other hand if artificial insemination can really help restore your relationship why not try it.