My dad's really been bugging me lately. He's just soo needy. Here's a little back ground info, so maybe someone could give me some advice on how to talk to him about it. It's just really getting to the point where being around him is very stressful and I don't like to be with him for too long at a time.

I moved out of his house and in with my boyfriend in January of this year. I know that he's going through a lot, because he hasn't worked in years and years (he has very bad anxiety and is very uncomfortable in social situations) ,and my grandma is the only person he has (he takes care of her) and we just found out she has cancer.

So, I understand that he's trying to reach out and let me know he needs me, but I need to be on my own also. It's very hard for me to be around my grandma a lot of the time because I don't know what to say to her and it's so heartbreaking to know there's nothing I can do to make her better.

My dad has turned to drinking more than ever, and that's definitely not making things any easier on my grandmother. It's gotten to the point that I'm worried about her being home alone with him, because she's having trouble walking on her own.

My father makes a HUGE deal out of everything. He wants to know exactly when I'll be coming over, how long I'll be there, and he's always forcing me into promising him that 'yes, I'll spend the night on Saturday' etc.

Any suggestions, because this is really getting me down. I need some space to breath. I need to feel independent and not like I always have to make him happy. It's always a guilt trip, 'You know, grandma might not be here much longer." And, I'm not saying that doesn't make sense, but he's always been that way.. saying grandma could die any day etc. It's frustrating. It's just another excuse, among many that he uses to basically 'force' me into coming over. I give in, because I just want him to back off

This is a tough situation, I feel for you... I feel sorry for your dad, too, he is obviously a rather emotional person to whom everything is a big deal, and he fears losing his mother - which he knows is coming, unfortunately. It is good of you to try to help, but it is hard, I know, you can't babysit him all the time. Is it just him and grandma? Is he not married? What about your mom, if I may ask?

We are in a similar situation with my father-in-law, he is one big baby who lives off of making people feel sorry for him and manipulating them into doing things for him. I will go so far as to say that people have spoiled him with their pity (and why they pity him instead of telling him where to go is beyond me). He expects the same - pity and services - from my husband. Most of the time, my husband finds it easier to just go ahead and do it.

Ya, it's just him and my grandmother. My mom and him divorced when I was about 2 years old I think, and ya.. he just gave up on relationships. My grandma has always spoiled him.. which I see now as being the WORST thing she could have ever done for him. I'm worried that he won't make anything of himself when she's gone.. I try so, so hard to motivate him and tell him he can do whatever he puts his mind to, but he just can't stop drinking... I dunno what to do. I am a firm believer in the fact that you can't get help until you're ready and he's just not ready new sadly

My F-I-L was badly spoiled by his mom as well. I have never met her, but I always think of her and wonder whether she ever realized what a HUGE disservice she had done to her son. He is terrible. He wants "help" all the time; the problem is, what he calls "help" is far beyond that. He wants to be served. Things he wants "help" with are ridiculous, like sorting his mail. All normal adult people do that stuff themselves without even thinking about it.