Hey all,

I have this friend who is using a tactic to avoid having conflicts with her MIL. Or shall i say to be the gooddie goodie DIL in front of her MIL. I will write down her story so you all have a better idea

My friend got married a year ago and moved to US with her husband immediately. She only lived with her MIL for 2 days after the wedding. Her MIl and her were in good contact and got along fine. (to this i will add that she never did show her real self to her MIL and hided alot of things about her and what she does in US to be in her MIL's good book. Always potrayed herself as a idle and perfect bahu/DIL)

After a year, my friend and her husband went to India for their holidays and she experienced few frictions with her MIL. As it was the 1st time they lived together and and got to know eachother in the real form, there were fights. Her MIl got to know her real self and ofcourse wasnt happy. Her MIL instead of shouting at her herself, took the matters to her mom who then got angry at my friend and corrected her acts(honestly I am not sure if her mom got angry at her coz she really felt that her daughter was wrong or only to show her agreement to MIL, coz by the way my friends talk it seems her mom is supportive to all her activities and her way of thinking)

They are back to US now and her husband plans to call his mom to US for a holiday for a month or so. My friend fearing that again they will have conflicts plans to call her mom as well (her MIL and mom get along well). She says that if both the moms come together, she wont need to handle her MIL herself, her mom will handle the MIL and she can be left alone with her husband. Also that her mistakes will be convered up by her mom and that the MIL cannot be mean, correct or yell in front of her mom (as they r friends). Plus she says that there will be 4 ppl she, her husband, her mom and MIL. Out of which if something goes wrong she will have 2 out 3 ppl in her support (her husband and her mom)

NOW my question is, Does it really work that way? can you call your mom and MIL to avoid conflicts. Are MIL better behaved in front of our moms (in fear of being judges as "evil MIL")

She is not my best friend but a good friend and we havent come to that stage of life where i can comment or give my opinion on her personal life or the persoanl steps she takes. She tells me openly about it and i listen.

But this issue really made me think. It is really that simple, just get your mom with the MIL "always". Or is she getting it all wrong. Coz if this works, then why the hell are we all going through so much trouble, we can follow it too

Are there other girls who have tried this or if they know of someone who has tried it?
Does it work? and BTW they are planning to invite them for 2 months.

Let me know your opinon of this subject. I am really curious of it

I'll be upfront about this and simply say that your friend is very immature and stupid. If your friends mum and MIL are friends then her mum knows what her daughters MIL is like. Say if our friends MIL starts visiting them in the US every year then would she keep on calling her mum too....dont think so.
One thing I fail to understand is that what is it so bad about your friend that she hides her trueself?
Even if she does have to be a different person infrontof her MIL then she should be its not forever its for a month or two and its not a hard job being a nice person. She will only gain respect from this and keep the arguments away and make the trip of her MIL memorable and good for herself and her husband.