I have only 1 brother and he got married 2 years back . His wife i,e my sister in law is very rude with my mother she doesn't belong to our state and thus she doesn't know our customs .And when my mother tries to teach her she doesn't follow it and says it's not this way I follow so I won't do it.She says that what her parents taught her is only right and she is so rude .My mother is soft natured and she feels so bad about it .I don,t know how to explain her .Please suggest me some suggestions so that she understands my mother and try to follow our customs.

It's a difficult situation. Any chance her mother is reasonable enough to talk to and ask for help? If she understands the problem and tells her daughter to adjust her ways, your sister-in-law might listen.

She is so stubborn that what she likes she feels that is only correct.What you said that talking to her mother wold help but if my father comes to know that my mother has discussed this matter with her parents he will create a mess .That's the reason my mom is quiet.

Ask your brother to explain to your SIL patiently. IMO, he is the best person to mediate between his mother and wife!! Unless he is too henpecked

Maybe she feels threatened by your mother because your mom and your brother are close? Whatever the reason is, don't let her intimidate you or your mother. You can choose to always be kind to her (even if it's hard). You may not want to put your brother in the middle of this. You don't want him to feel like he has to choose between his wife and his mother and sister.

Hmm I think kangaroo is right, just tell all your mom's worries to your brother. I'm sure your sister in law will listen to her husband now. There's no way she could resist his request.

I think not imposing your ways on her could help. If she's old enough to get married, she is also old enough to know what customs to follow and why do you think she needs to be told what to do? I don't agree with rudeness but I can certainly understand why she needs to take a negative attitude - if she has been brought up with certain customs, it is not up to your family to dismiss and replace them with yours.