In-laws are conventionally treated with not much love. It is often believed that no matter how hard you try, your in-laws cannot treat you as their own child. However, this is just a myth. If you really wish to have a healthy relationship with your in-laws then nothing can stop you. All you need is some knowledge on how to please them and here are some relative tips for that.

Always keep in mind that there is a generation gap between you and that is why they cannot be as supportive and understanding to you as your spouse is. Secondly, you are into a new relationship and being younger, it is no harm taking the initiative to please your in-laws. They are of your parent’s age and if you work a bit patiently then you can actually substitute them for your parents. Try to find out what pleases them and more importantly what annoys them. You should, at first, try to do those things that they expect from you. Everybody wishes the other person to work on their own terms and so do your in-laws.

Be interactive with your in-laws and compliment them on different things. You can compliment them on their parenting skills etc. You should be affectionate to your spouse and let your in-laws know that their child is happy with you. This is a soothing feeling for any parents. Moreover, ask for their opinion even in small matters. Although you are free to do whatever you wish for, yet do ask for their opinion. Do not argue for everything and try to compromise a little. You should also maintain a bond with them directly, without the interference of your spouse.

You should remember that if you are adjusting with them then they too are. So, do not expect something from them that you yourself are not willing to do for them. Do not pretend and just be yourself and gradually you will win over the love of your in-laws too.

This may work with some inlaws, but it is a two way street. They should also try to meet you half way.
My FIL and I get along wonderfully. We can sit and talk for hours. We both enjoy sititnig in the sun and relaxing.
My MIL and I don't get along at all. I try my hardest to be nice to her, but she is always digging and saying rude things to me. I ignore them, but once she leaves, it usually causes a fight between my husband and myself.

I am about to be a MIL and I am determined to not be like my MIL. I treat my future daughter in law as if she were one of my own children.

Thats quiet sad for you there. But its right! There has to be a 2-way traffic between the inlaws. Its but natural to feel resentment towards the daughters/sons-in-law from their mothers-in-law. Maybe thats because they feel that they have been depreived of the sole attention of their child when he/she got married and have his/her own. But then again, the two parties must realize that its not that. There has to be growing up and becoming mature in looking at things.

Like all relationships, these can be nurtured over time. When I married my husband I could not understand nor communicate with my MIL on any level. It was clear that our huge gap in years, and the different cultures in which we had been brought up, was going to make any sort of relationship between us almost impossible.

I am sad to say my immaturity was partially to blame, as I had no concept of deep relationships outside of my own immediate family.

However, as the years have passed, almost 30 now, I have to come to appreciate what an absolute diamond she is, and she does treat me like her own daughter. I love her very much now and regret the years where we did not have this depth on care for each other.

I believe it required a level of maturity on my part, which just did not exist when I was 20 years of age.

I love my wife's in-laws more than mine.

-F

. I bet she would return the complement !

@ farcey - thts really nice....

I personally believe that u get wht u give......tht is the usual belief .....

Though i am not married atm....i would want in laws like my parents or my either of grand parents.....cool, mod, responsible, lovely to b around with, understnding...

Did you actually understand what he said

He said, his WIFE's In laws, ie his parents

PS: In case Mrs. -F is here too, sorry -F , couldn't resist

oopppsy i didnt read the whole thing....shucks.....

nyways whoeva ka inlaws of course .....one shud b nice to em n thy shud be well treated.

Every relationship is based on mutual understanding between two people until and unless you don't understand and don't spend time with each other it becomes difficult to carry on with that relation or relationships. With mutual understanding every relationship can be made beautiful. So It's not difficult job to keep your in-laws happy.

I'm happy and glad to say I have a wonderful and loving relationship with my in laws, I get treated really nice, they don't say anything to me and in fact treat me as their own child.
Of course understanding is important in relationships especially with in laws, as that's what gets the relationship rolling, you understand them and their needs and they will understand yours. One important and most meaningful point is to just treat them like your own parents!

yes its not at all an issue ......being with ur inlaws......hoping tht mine (wheneva) are as nice n sweet as my parents.....

Oh, farce, you really are a farce ! You made me laugh. Shouldn't this answer be in jokes?

But seriously, my spouse is lucky because he had no in-laws to contend with.

To build up a healthy relationship with my in-laws ,is to be generous to them..

For sure,our in-laws do not want us to be greedy to them.Especially, when they needed particularly in financial matter..

If our in-laws have seen us that we are in the capacity to lend them or give them financially or materially, the favor that they needed from us, we need to be nice granting their request..Surely, we can attain healthy relationship with them.

We are in the same pathway of religion with my in-laws..That's why we have no frictions with them because we apply bible principles we've learned..Besides,we live in different places of towns and cities..So when we meet together,there's a strong bonding.

My ma in-law is good coz she's helping us sometimes financialy.What i dont like her is her being tolerant with my husbands drinking habit,ggrrrrr.