Why do yo think virginity is a major issue ..... that too solely for women ?

I don't care if a woman remains a virgin or not. as long as she
practices safe sex and has no diseases it should be ok. I am not
sure which part of the world you are referring to but this forum
members are all over the world.

-F

Part of the world : I meant India , although there are members from all over the world, most seem to be of Indian origin ....

hmm, I was under the impression that India was third behind
US and phillipines in this women's forum membership. atleast
among the frequent posters.

-F

p.s you didn't vote???

well in that case what do i do now .. will go edit my post

sorry, didn't mean to nit-pick.

So talking about India, I heard things are changing these days
with westernization and young people going on dates and
so on. Is this a trend or is it only in a select few major cities?

-F

Oh no not a problem at all In fact Thank you

As for things in India ... where are you from ?

I dont think i would say i think westernization or easternaisation is the best thing to happen ... but as far as women rights and double standards go India is still the same , it may have changed in a few select circles; i wouldn't even say a few cities.....

Just to site a few examples:

virginity tests are still conducted

Female foeticide and infanticide are rampant despite the ban on sex determination during pregnancy

Dowry is still demanded ... and is a norm so much so that it is quite usual to hear the amount of cash land gold , cars etc being doled out

Was that too much ?

I think you have asked this question in social prospective so here I am only thinking about present condition of Indian society.
Yes, at the present moment virginity is very much necessary in Indian society.Farce has said about few modern person of major cities but if we consider entire India then virginity is the major issue for marriage.
Unfortunately our society is male dominant so this issue is very strongly applied to women, it also applicable for male but not so much strongly like women but I think now society is changing and in future if virginity become any issue then I hope it will be applicable for men & women both in same intensity.

"Do you think it is important a female remains a virgin until her marriage ?"

No, I don't think so. The only reason there's been a such practice is because of the religion. Because it is said in Christian Terms that you should remain a virgin until you are wed when in fact there are no basis for that. Marriage nowadays does not even seem to be done by couples for their religion but just for their status. This is just my opinion of course.

Wow! Good point. I didn't see it that way actually.

Why do you think that "at the present moment virginity is very much necessary in Indian society" ? Shouldn't it be more of a personal choice ?

Not many women wait until they get married to loose their virginity. I see no problem with this, but I do have a problem with teenagers having sex and thinking nothing of it. I think that the individuals should be old enough to realize that birth control isn't 100% and there is always a chance of pregnancy.

The poll is open guys...

I think virginity should be a non issue between a couple. What is important is that they love, respect and trust each other.

Personal choice always develop in the circumstances of our society and our morality and thinking procedure always build in background of two thing if one is education then next one is what we normally follow from the society or even our ancestor advice has a role in that.That's why, in case of India most of the people still believe that virginity is necessary probably in metro cities this trend has little changed for due to personal choice but rural India still believe unanimously that virginity is very much necessary.

Yup dude I agree



But why do you think the issue needs to be maintained as a social norm ? Why do you think it is necessary ?

And again ... the poll is open ...Vote

I have mention social prospective because in educated and cultured society always believe in liberation it will always respect every person individual choice but when in case developing society it always try to create one basic rule and if anyone don't maintain it then obviously lots of obstacle can be come in her life that's why I have mention it from social angle.
Now personally I don't think virginity can be always a big factor for marriage but I am not the only person in India

I haven't asked entire India

But I get you .....

To me saving your self for marriage is special and it shows your husband that you are giving yourself to him and him only ... it is an honor to the man to know that you are his and his only .. it is a sensitive subject to alot of people .And in some cases that cant be helped .

I don't think its important to remain a virgin until you are married.

I think children need to be better educated when it comes to sex and pregnancy and diseases, obviously.

I don't even think you have to love the person you have sex with, just be smart about it.

And when you do find the person you want to marry, don't expect them to be a virgin, just treat them well, with love and respect and I don't believe it should be an issue.

While I do understand what you are saying , as far as children being educated I do understand what you are getting at , but I do not think that they should know about it too early. And while you do not have to be a virgin I would think that as a parent or mentor you would want to be a good example. So that they have something to look at and know what is right ...

I don't think many people can wait to have sex until marriage, but I voted yes, because I think if that's what you believe, that you will do everything in your power to make it come true. I'm not sure why I feel this way, but I don't see me ever getting married. I mean, I just can't imagine me ever marrying someone. It may be because my mom has had 3 failed marriages and I just don't wanna go through all the crap I saw her go through. It was terrible and it hurts soooo many people around you. It gets so complicated and confusing!!
But, life goes on..

I voted yes because of the beliefs that I was raised with , You were to wait to find the right one to marry and enjoy the union together for the first time together . The husband is suppose to know what really makes you tick if you will .

Good for you I think those are very good beliefs and I think if it wasn't for my mom and always bringing guys in and out of my life and me dealing with her getting divorced a few times, I would agree. It's just hard for me to commit to someone in that way. I mean, it's not that I can't commit, but I don't want to have to worry about divorce. Maybe I'll change my mind when I find the right person. I'm pretty sure I have him now, but I'm going to take it slow and see how things go

I agree with farce. You should be aware about safe sex. As someone said that couples are going for datings and don't mind having sex before marriage. But in india when it comes to marriage you can not change the mentality of a husband. Every male in india has no problem having sex before marriage but when it comes to their wives every male wants a virgin wife. How it can be possible? After all the girl you are doing sex before marriage may be the wife of someone else tomorrow. Because it's not sure every relationship ends up in marriage. So boys (Specifically Indian) please change your mentality. We girls also have the right to have sex before marriage. we also have same feelings like you. It also depends on girls. If you like do it otherwise not doing is also good. It's not a rule. It's what you want or like.

I think that the emphasis is placed on women too much. If a woman is a virgin, she's seen as pure. That's pure crap. When it comes to men, society encourages men to not be virgins, but the exact opposite. It doesn't help that it's easy to tell if a woman is a virgin or not.